The Tattoo Has Its Own Aura
Scientists remain unable to explain it. Every time Jeremy crosses his arms, somewhere a bald eagle nods respectfully and a national anthem starts playing at a reasonable volume.
Officially, Legally, The Best
Jeremy Brown
Certified Legend
Elite Human Being
Undefeated Since Birth
The Guy
Simply Him
You have arrived at patrickklooz.com. There is no Patrick Klooz here. There is only Jeremy Brown, and honestly, that is the better outcome.
Keep scrolling, it gets worse
0%
Legend
0/10
Overall Guy
∞
Bench Press
0
L's Taken
Why Jeremy Brown Is The Best
A non-exhaustive list. Peer reviewed by a panel of his closest friends, who were not paid, except emotionally.
Unmatched Handshake
Firm. Confident. Exactly the right duration. People have signed contracts on the spot without reading them. This is arguably a legal issue but nobody has complained yet.
Has Never Once Been Wrong
Not about the restaurant. Not about the shortcut. Not about whether it was going to rain. The record stands at a perfect, deeply annoying 100%.
Always Early, Somehow
Jeremy arrives eight minutes before you do, regardless of when you left or where you started. The watch is not for telling time. The watch is for telling you the time.
Beat The Algorithm
He posted once, in 2019, and it still outperforms everything you have ever made. He does not know this. He would not care.
The Reviews Are In
Sources verified to the fullest extent that we felt like doing.
"Honestly? I just come up for him."
"Ten out of ten. Would sit at his feet again. Immediately."
"We've made some exceptions for him. We'd rather not elaborate."
"He's the reason I bought the domain. I don't regret it. Mostly."
"Yeah, no, he's great. Can you please stop calling me about this."
"Look, I don't hand these out lightly. He gets one."
Status: Still Him